Something which is just so funny to me is the phenomenon (phenomena? Argh, lol!!) of large middle-aged white guys “dating” tiny Asian ladies. Come on chaps, who do you think you’re kidding? I think we all know what this is about.

It is about you fellows not being able to get or keep a Western woman, so you come over here, thinking you’re god’s gift, and get yourself a little local girlfriend who will put up with stupid, boring you. You, your sunburnt belly (although, to be fair, there are thin ones too; in fact, in our last country there was a thin one, an embassy chap, and his wife was v gorgeous, sylphlike and incredibly intelligent, so it just goes to show that it’s not about looks or intellect), and your ever-bushier ear hair. Do not think for a moment that you are fooling anyone.

Do not think, either, that you will hang onto your petite Asian girlie. Once she has the security she needs from you, she will be off. You might well have paid for that boob job and widened eyelids, but when she goes, the boobs and eyelids go with her, darling. (Of course, then you will probably just find yourself a replacement. Plenty more gold-diggers petite Asians in the sea LOL!)

It’s just funny to me, that’s all. Hahaha!

It’s funny because I am 200% certain that this would never happen with Don. He wouldn’t recognise a come-on if it was right under his nose. And prostitutes! Ha, like he would pay for it!! Plus, anyway, he’s not that fat.

This article, au contraire, is not in the least bit funny, “Expat wives losing hubbies to Asian women a big worry”. ARGH!

It’s happening more and more. Disgraceful behaviour, chaps.

On a totally separate subject, the Gucci Fall handbag collection is calling my name. I can’t decide which one though. Unlike the pool towels and the clubs, I had better hurry up and choose. Don goes to Dubai next week. Must get my skates on, so I can tell him which one I need.

* FMAWG: Fat Middle-Aged White Guys