Something so wonderful about expat children is that they are so aware of, and so accepting of, all cultures and nationalities. My children don’t care where their friends come from, and I think that is just beautiful. If all children were expat children, maybe there would be more joy and unity on this planet. One big happy family from every nation. Nice.

This morning I was making my green smoothie as usual. I juiced the organic Australian beetroot, the organic Dutch carrots, a chunk of ginger, and one of those nice apples from Japan. Then I put the juice in the blender with the organic kale from New Zealand, the organic Malaysian red dragon fruit (never a white one of course, they taste like napkins), yoghurt imported from Greece, and half an American banana. One of the things I love about organic food is that it is so much better for the environment; none of those nasty polluting pesticides getting into the soil and our souls.

It was at that point that I realised I was all out of Chia seeds. Argh. So I popped to the basement of the Ion to get some, and went to grab a skinny decaf latte on the way, and there in the queue – I could tell from before I even went into Coffee Bean – were a couple of ladies with crystals on their jeans (yellow jeans, mega-LOLs: no, ladies, just NO!!!), bleached hair, excessively lined eyebrows, huge lips, and enormous LV handbags. Here we go, I said to myself, Rrrrrrra-shuns! They’re everywhere! When exactly did this happen? I’m sure it used to be just us, but now they’re here too.

So, no offence to the stylish Russians, but I’m finding that I’m seeing blingy Rrrrrra-shons more and more among the Expaterati. One of my besties is from Russia, and she wouldn’t be caught dead in a yellow jean.

And again, no offence intended whatsoever, and I totes hope none taken, but wow, I can just spot them a mile off.