I’m So Hot This Week #sizzling!!

I am having a majorly mahusiv workout week so far, in preparation for my Fit For Fashion Season Two audition video (see below for a sneaky preevy, lucky dear readers!!). It’s only Thursday, and already I’ve notched up 40k on the treadmill (thank golly for Spotify), three sessions with my personal slave-driver Eva, and two, yes TWO, yoga classes c/o awesome Vikram. Ordinarily I only do one yoga class per week, on Tuesday evenings, but this week I found that I was progressing so well in my practice (it’s totes truesome that practice makes perfect because in my case it v much has), that I decided to go to the Wednesday class as well. I didn’t even know there was a Weds class! Usually I block off Weds mornings for champagne brunch with my Expaterati girlies, but Seth told me Vikram does a sesh at 11AM which he goes to, and he said I should go too, so I was like, “Hells-to-the-yeah, babes, I’m all over it!”

It was really great to hook up with Seth again, having had our nice chats at the ANZA ball last Saturday. After the class on Tues we went for a quick soya chai. We were talking about the many amazebobs physical, mental and spiritual outcomes of doing a whole bunch of down-dogs every day, and that’s when he told me about the Wednesday class. Rarely does one meet a gentleman in Singapore who is free during the day for yogi’ing AND has an awesome hairdo. A most unusual combination. I was just about to enquire as to this phenomenation when I got a text from Max: “Mummy, you said you were doing bedtime stories tonight. Milly is crying, but I’m fine.”

Argh, I’d completely forgotten that I told the irritants I would be back for bedtime. Being the wonderfully committed mother that I am, I sacrificed my enjoyment of the conversation with Seth and cantered home tout de suite. Hashtag annoying, but such is life as the default parent. If only I had a second helper, perhaps she could take on my burdensome role as default parent.


Haven’t quite got there yet…

Then yesterday I went to the Weds yoga class and, yet again, I outdid myself in terms of both yogic perfection and simultaneous hotness. Seth suggested lunch afterwards, so we cabbed it to Robertson Quay and went to Super Loco. That place is HONESTLY the bestest Mexican restaurant outside Mexico, and I don’t say that lightly. I spent my gap year in el Distrito Federal, and have partaken of many many Mexican joints from Lexington to London to Lahore. So trust me, babeses, I totes know wtf I’m talking about. And no, the Super Loco chaps are not paying me for my glowing endorsement. (Why is no one paying me for glowing endorsements?! PS Café still haven’t named a dish after me!! “Eggspat EJ”… Come on, now!! What’s the prob here??!)

Over our huevos rancheros, I finally had the opp to ask Seth what he does for a living, and why he has time for yoga and lunch on a Weds daytime. So you won’t believe this, peeps, but Seth is actually and totally the original founder of the global chain Yo Yeah Yoga!!! Can you believe that??? OMG, Yo Yeah Yoga is like the benchmark for yogis everywhere in the Western World (ie everywhere), and here I am, elegantly spilling salsa on my top in the presence of its founder!! Too much embarrassing!!!! I started hyperventilating, so I excused myself to the little girls’ room to re-apply my lippy and to make sure I looked AHAP (as hot as possible).

It is an important principle of mine not to be dazzled by wealth, power or fame, and I thusly therefore pulled myself together, and returned to the table.

“Ok”, I said, super-nonchalantly, “But that still doesn’t explain why you have so much spare time. Usually it’s only expat wives who get to do what they want, not the dudes. You’re totes freaking me out, babes, ya know??”

“Argh, sorry babes, I totes didn’t mean to freak you out. That’s the very last thing I wanted to do!! It’s cool. It’s really no big deal. I started something, it got really big, I sold it, and now here I am. I’m back to doing yoga, like I always wanted to do, with the most awesome yogi in the world who just happens to be in Singapore.”

I tried to contain myself, gracefully mopping up the eggs/drool mélange, but couldn’t help exclaiming, “So you’re Seth Lickerberg??! Yo Yeah Yoga is your company?? But that’s like huge! That’s like in every country that matters!! OMG I’m brunching a la Mexicana with SETH LICKERBERG!!!!!”

I’m not sure what happened next because my oxygen levels dipped through excitation (my portable fitness device told me so), but apparently I began taking selfies of us both and posting them on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, until Seth grabbed my hand and said, “No, EJ. This stuff, it’s really nothing. It doesn’t matter. I just enjoy your company. So please, chill, babes. Can we get back to the present – be right here right now, mindful of the joy in each new moment? I’d like that.”

“I’d like that too”, I said, with my beautiful, haunting Angelina Jolie smile (goodbye Kate Mid, you’re not sexy enough for my smile).

“Ok, well although you’re like a global icon, babes”, I went on, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable, “It really makes no differencio to me who you are or what you’ve done. I just totes heart that sexy snort you do when you laugh… Holy argh-ness, did I say that out loud??!”

“Yes, you did”, he said, with his signature sexy snort, “And that’s ok. It’s all good. Nothing is a coincidence, you know? We’re sitting here for a reason. The universe has its own wisdom. We just trust it, right?”

I can’t say for sure whether he touched my hand or I touched his. It just sort of happened.

But then I had to go. I had a shoot scheduled for my audition vid for Fit For Fashion. It’s not easy being a celebrité blogger. I make it look easy, but it’s so not. So voila babeses, see below!! To audition, click here. I cannot wait to meet those Fitness First gym gods. If anyone can make me even more ravishing and physically powerful, it’s them.

I’m Going to Win Fit For Fashion Season Twooooo!!!

OMG the most exciting thing has happened! So, as dear readers will know from my post last year, I was a mahusiv fan of the TV show Fit For Fashion, and as God is my witness, I vowed to apply as a contestant ASAP. I could totes win that thing!! I’m already mega-buff, but they have these amazebobs trainers from Fitness First, and I think they could make me even buffier.

So, guess what?! Auditions are now open for Season Two!! I need to get my act together rapidamenté and do the audition video because the deadline is 31st May. Argh! I’m so busy right now, what with my burgeoning modelling career, and Singapore Fashion Week, and being an awesome mother and wife, and managing the help, and hanging out with my girlies, and stressing about whether we’re repattting or not, AND I’ve been approached to do a theatre review! So swamped!!

You probably don’t know this amazing fact about me, but I’m a v serious theatre buff and I did a three-day course once on Shakespeare, contemporary theatre, and how to become a professional theatre critic, but sheesh it was a long time ago. So I’ll have to brush up my skills, babeses, and that could take at least an hour on Wiki and YouTube. It’ll be a miracle if I can pull it all together, but I believe in miracles, and I know that you’re all right behind me. My chi really thanks you for that, even though of course you, as my dear readers, get so much out of what I do for you, and you’re therefore thusly way more grateful to me than I could possibly ever be to you. No thanks necessary, blush. Oh, blogging! It’s just one big gratitude party!!

The photo shoot I did this avo went ridic well (can’t wait to share the pics!), and I have to canter home now to supervise the help supervising Max’s homework before the fabulous Fash Wk party at H & M tonight. He gets an awful lot of homework, but I suppose needs must if he’s to be a fund manager one day. The main problem for me is keeping track of his assignments. He’s nearly seven, but he has abso no clue how to manage his time or even what homework he’s supposed to be doing! I’m thinking of taking matters into my own hands, and out-sourcing it all to a remote personal assistant in the Philippines. I could just have the school email them instead, and then I wouldn’t have a constant stream of inscrutable messages clogging up my inbox. Genius, I know.


Singapore Expat Hottie Wins TV Show


Last night I was watching this awesomeness show on Starworld that I’ve been following avidly from the treadmill every week. Starworld is the only channel I watch since finding out that it delivers “the best entertainment solution to trend setters and story seekers of Asia”. (Until I start vlogging, babeses!!!) When I read that, I thought, LOLs yeah whatevs peeps; but then I started watching it and OMG, it’s totes truesome!

The show is called Fit for Fashion, and the final had me on the edge of my seat. It was about a bunch of peeps around Asia getting their fit on over four months, and having their looks and attitudes transformed to become hotties, inside and out. And they so did that! The final three contestants, Kristina, Matty and Citira (the expat wife, yay us!!) were not only hotties by the end, but they were mega-athletic, like serioso hard-core! They had to do a race where they ran around and did super difficult stuff, turning a mahusiv tyre over and over again, and running across a rickety floating bridge, carrying buckets of water.

I thought Citira was a-goner when she fell off the bridge, but she kept going, telling herself: “Brush it off”, “Kick it into gear”, and “Like a ninja, like a ninja, like a ninja”. She would probably be almost as good at life coaching as I would, with catch phrases like that. I should get my peeps to call her peeps to discuss teaming up.

So, she made it to the final challenge, the catwalk at KL Fashion Week. “I’m gonna own that runway!”, she said, and she totes did. In her words, she looked “amazeballs” (she even talks a bit like me!! Luv ya, babes!).

Photo credit: Fitness First

Photo credit: Fitness First

I was so happy for her, and not at all jealous of her fabbo biceps, or the fact she got to hang out with Dame Zandra Rhodes. I’m her biggest fan. She’s my hairoine!! (Except her hair colour is clearly fake, whereas mine is more natural-looking.)

Photo credit: Fitness First

Photo credit: Fitness First

What was so mucho moving was when Citira said how far she has come, and that a year ago, she was a normal mum, and “it wasn’t about me anymore”. Tell me about it, expat sista! I feel your pain!!

She said she had lost her dreams and her self-esteem, but now she had “got it all back”. I could so relate! I’m defo going to be on Season Two next year. I could win that thing! I’d look “amazeballs” on the catwalk too!!

While I’m waiting to be asked to take part, I’m going to do the free Fitness First trial. So sweet of those nice gym peeps to do that. Maybe when the celebrity trainer and Fitness First big guy, Mitch Chilson, finds out about me, he’ll be my personal trainer. These people know how important it is to nurture new talent.